chat roulette

ostatnio sponsorem naszych niskich rozrywek zostało chatroulette, czyli jeden z nowszych fenomenów internetu (niezorientowanym nie będę objaśniać z czym to się je, odeślę ich za to tutaj). Fakt faktem, trzy czwarte urzędujących tam osobników to czternastoletni, napaleni chłopcy i łysawi mężczyźni w średnim wieku, którym znudziło się już redtube (ewentualnie jedni podający się za drugich, ewentualnie jedni albo drudzy podający się za cycate azjatyckie nastolatki) - jednak pozostała jedna czwarta to prawdziwa śmietanka, dla której warto poświęcić się i posłuchać najróżniejszych propozycji erotycznych, wciskając raz po raz F9, czyli magiczny klawisz, który uwalnia nas od obecnego rozmówcy i łączy z kolejnym.

choć chatroulette odkryliśmy dopiero kilka dni temu, już udało nam się spotkać tam wiele znamienitych osobistości, między innymi:

Barta Simpsona

boga

Jezusa

Courtney Love

upiora z opery

Szatana

i super psa.

udało nam się nawet przeprowadzić kilka dłuższych konwersacji, w których ani razu nikt nie poprosił mnie (ani Sebastiana, tacy też się zdarzali) o pokazanie cycków.

x: where from ?
v&s: narnia
x: you too ?
v&s: who else is from narnia?
x: i've just left the lion king
v&s: lion king doesn't live in narnia, stupid
x: there is a lion in narnia
v&s: right, but it's a different lion
x: I was having dinner with him 
x: then i came here
(zaczynamy robić miny do webcama, nasz rozmówca odpowiada tym samym)
x: can you touch your nose with your togue ?
x: i can't :(
(próbujemy)
v&s: we can't
x: so bad
v&s: try licking your elbow
x: ok
(gość zaczyna robić coś dziwnego z językiem)
x: i can't :(
v&s: do you know where your elbow is? :D
x: i'm french i can't speak english fluently yet :p
x: there are still some words i don't know :(
(pokazuję na swój łokieć)
v&s: this is an elbow :)
x: haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
x: let me try
v&s: see, you learned something thanks to chatroulette
(facet próbuje polizać swój łokieć)
x: i can't :(
v&s: but it was a nice try
(...)
x: are you in love ?
x: do you want me to marry you by chatroulette ?
v&s: i'd rather marry something with more hands, eyes, tentacles and stuff
x: looooooooooool
x: Tentacle and sponge.
x: You can try to marry sponge bob
v&s: sponge bob doesn't have tentacles, i'm afraid
v&s: tentacles are vital in a healthy relationship
x: loooooool
v&s: loooooooooool
v&s: our 'lol' has more o's
x: the lion told me you would say that
v&s: what else will we say?
x: you will say
x: i love tentacles
v&s: love the tentacle!
x: you see
x: i knew it
v&s: that's not the same thing
x: the meaning is the same :p
v&s: no, you said that we'll say that we love tentacles
v&s: i told you to love the tentacle
v&s: it was an order
x: aaaaaaaaaaaaa
x: sorry
x: I LOVE TENTACLE
x: I LOVE IT
v&s: the tentacle loves you
x: can i marry the tentacle ?
x: can tentacles make love ?
v&s: sure they can
v&s: ask google
v&s: write 'hentai tentacle'
x: i want to have sexe with a tentacle
v&s: but don't you think tentacles are easy
v&s: first you have to take it to a nice cafe
x: macdo's right ?
x: or starbucks ?
v&s: something more expensive
v&s: then you have to meet often
v&s: and talk a lot
v&s: see what you have in common
v&s: you know, you can't base a relationship only on sex
x: i know
x: but you can't build a relationship without sex :p
(Sebastian się uśmiecha)
x: the guy says i'm right
x: i can see it on his face
x: but please don't do sexe here
v&s: no sex
x: thanks
v&s: the worst thing we can do here is killing each other
v&s: and eating corpses
v&s: maybe quartering them before
v&s: and seasoning a little bit
x: can you do it ?
v&s: sure we can
x: do it please
x: i love snuff movies
v&s: but now it's too early
x: why ?
v&s: he's not fat enough
v&s: i have to feed him more
v&s: if i ate him now, i'd still be hungry
x: i can understand
x: lol
x: his eyes are sayig
x: "please don't eat me"
x: "pleaaaaaase"
v&s: they all look like this
v&s: but you have to get used to it
v&s: otherwise you will starve to death
x: lool
v&s: i ate a cheese sandwich today
v&s: you should have seen how it looked at me
(...)

na koniec dwa moje ulubione (jak do tej pory) screenshoty: